Survive, Belong and Become

In the many diagrams of human needs, it appears that the different points are all condensed down to three basic important things.

These include our basic physical needs for food, shelter and sleep.

We all need these to survive.

Then, we have the need to belong. This involves our desire for recognition, acknowledgement and support within a group or community. We get our self-image from how we grow as people when we interact with those of our group.

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent.                                                                                                    –    John Donne

This is why it is important to choose people as companions on the journey who are a positive influence and going places in their lives.

When we lack confidence or focus, we become caught up like cyclists in each other’s ‘slipstream’. Sociologists tell us we will probably become the average of the five people whom we interact with the most frequently.

A verse in the Bible says, ‘without a vision the people perish’. The literal translation indicates that it is talking about groupings of people as well as individuals.

In many ways, our community; those who surround us and take care of our physical needs, are critical in all three stages of life.

Everyone is built for belonging. Everyone, from the lowest criminal gangs to those of the highest moral codes need it. Whether we like it or not, we are built for, and long for, ‘community’.

I have said before, it is our difference that we have to offer the world and we should have respect for all levels of work in assisting society.

In many cultures, an infant will be given a name that reflects the parent’s, and often the community’s, aspirations for the child. This is so that each time they are called by their name, they are reminded of their intended destiny.

Often the third one, ‘Become’, is missing. This is the need to dream and improve our surrounding environment and ourselves.

The need for connection and community is primal, as fundamental as the need for air, water, and food.                                   -Dean Ornish

If we are fed spiritually, emotionally and physically and we have a real sense of belonging and receiving acknowledgment of personal value, then we will be launched into becoming and growing.

We must also create environments and a culture around us that does not punish the weaknesses and admissions of others but honours their willingness to be vulnerable and seek assistance, and respond by offering help.

This is why I feel that I have succeeded beyond my expectations.

I am in a group of several men, more like brothers, who push me, prod me and knock off my rough edges to help me shine.

To some extent, we get to choose our ‘community’. Is your community inspiring and releasing you to go onwards and upwards to new heights in your career or holding you down? Are you getting things done with education and motivation and or just treading water?

Remember that being different is your biggest asset and you don’t have to be like everyone else. If you need a career coach, drop me an email or private message today to get you on the right track.

Dave Brebner.

About the Author:

Dave is an Adult Educator, Speaker and Youth leader living in Western Sydney, Australia where he teaches the Electrical Trades at the Western Sydney Institute. He has Diplomas in Business and Training, a Bachelors Degree in Adult Education, Vocational and Workplace Training and a Masters of Education with a major in Career Development. He has lived with Tourette’s Syndrome, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Anxiety Disorders since an early age, you can read his story online. He is married with 6 children. He is a passionate coach and mentor to young people especially in the vocational guidance and career development areas. Dave is a professional member of the Career Development Association of Australia and has authored a course on Living with Tourette’s which you can study and purchase online through his website –

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